Now I don’t want to assume but I really don’t understand why people get upset or short with someone they’re trying to pursue the minute they start asking questions. No I’m not referring to the yawn demographics I’m talking about intentions. Call me old fashioned I don’t care but I want to know and with the least bit of fuss too. Why? It gives me an opportunity to decide if someone is for me or not so yes I am considering more how honest someone is than whether they sound very textbook. The sweetest poem could just be about my flower after all, if only I just listened long enough to make sense of it.
Why can I not ask you some questions? You invited yourself into my life talking about “Oh you’re cute” or “”You’re sexy” and ” You seem nice”. I have to ask questions so I can find our whether you’ve actually been paying attention to the humour, substance, emotions of my posts or you just had a quick glance and are already envisioning me naked. No I’m not flattering myself apparently social media is the place to meet people nowadays. On a regular day near where I live I might get some long stares a smile or a polite stranger holding the door for me but on social media, guys are on a whole different level of flirting in fact it feels like a hunt and they want you to know it too.
“You don’t have enough pictures, you’re beautiful you should have more pictures”
Umm…thanks I guess I didn’t realise you went through my pictures before talking to me that’s good to know. I also didn’t know there were rules to social media participation and I’m already failing to qualify. Then apparently I must be a ‘catfish’ because one guy said “Woman like you don’t talk to guys like me”. That was actually quite upsetting to hear I also had to ask him to define what type of woman he assumed I was. The guy said something about my complexion and my face, yeah I wasn’t really trying to go there but I did tell him that in order to date anyone you have to be confident and he shouldn’t start his next conversation with a woman on such a bum note. Maybe I’m also wrong for what happened next because in hindsight he could have been nervous when he reached out to me but I began to assume too. Like if I took this guy seriously and maybe even dated him I would need to undo the many barriers that he had. Before patiently taking the time to make sure my actions unraveled all the knots of the seemingly similar women of his past and would function to refine his outlook. I hope that that last sentence read life a mouthful because that’s the impression of effort and investment required that I got for the guy. Yes, all of that just so I could begin to see who he really was beyond his social media persona and half naked pictures. WORK. No, I’m not being lazy but if we weren’t even dating and there was already no sign of fun then sadly I did wonder to myself could it and would it get any better? Yeah I didn’t stick around to find out sorry.
Despite all the interesting comments from these guys, I am still quite a levelheaded person with no delusions of model status or desire for likes unless I’ve posted some music of course. Then yes by all means go to town on that like button let me know that you hear what I hear of course but please be authentic.
Where I don’t have a confidence issue nor perceive myself as hideous I just have never been able to get with the selfies. I would rather capture my cooking or something in nature than pose for a picture. Be warned when I pose for said pictures majority of them are going to show a range of goofy faces, in short my awkwardness. I can’t help it though that’s just me and we’ll it’s not too bad the lack of selfies comments are usually followed by statements like “We should meet”, “Would be nice to see you” and “I want to see you”. At that point I need to ask a few questions:
“What are you looking for?”
Typical responses: I’m just trying to get to know you (sex), nothing really (sex), some company (sex). No I’m mostly joking but come on people surely you don’t need me to help you decipher you’re seasoned professionals.
“Why do you want to meet me?”
Now this is where it gets interesting they will either tell you straight, suggest or completely mask their intent. In the latter situation I found that when they laughed about something that’s exactly what they meant you already know this don’t play coy.
“Can you receive video calls?”
The last one is my catfish check. If they’re not who they say they are they won’t want to and if they do you will be able to see the the discrepancies between their profile pic and the person speaking and take a good look. If you need them to go into the light to see better instruct them to do so because if they want you that badly they need to meet your conditions. Unless of course you’re not fussy, in that case well each to their own.
I quite prefer the regular way of meeting people it’s slower so more suited to my pace but the social media DM’s are undeniably…entertaining. I may not take you seriously but you’ve definitely made me laugh so thank you. All the best