I’m not necessarily high maintenance (although that’s not entirely a bad thing either) but (like every many other women, I’m sure) typically have guys ask me all the questions that suggest they want to know what I can bring to a relationship. Yes, without offering a single indication that they possess even a few of the characteristics they so desperately request from me. HILARIOUS. Anyway I’ve decided to highlight two types: one to leave exactly where you met him and another that has some potential. ENJOY!!!
- MR Can You Cook. The name given to the guy who seemed slightly obsessed with making sure I could cook. I told him I could, I sent him some pics, I had ended calls to put meat in the oven and yet he still (probably because of the trickery some do online) needed more evidence. He even complained that after knowing me for all of TWO WEEKS it was weird that I had never offered to make him dinner. He reasoned it was “weird” since I had actually known him as an acquaintance for years before. I didn’t take offence to his comment I just told him the truth; I only cook for people I really care about. Unfortunately he was quite offended but I’m not the feed your ego type. Why bother to pursue me if you already know what I’m like? I’m not a child the only social pressure I have is stopping myself from reacting in all the colourful ways that some people deserve with their atrocious lack of manners.
No, I didn’t cook for him because all he did was stress my eardrums; whinge and loudly ‘debate’ with little substance but all the stamina of a long distance runner. Eventually I’d back down not because he was right but because I had run out of patience. He was highly mistaken with his judgement of me as someone who had to be submissive because I was polite to him. He also hoped that if he mentioned the word ‘relationship’ enough times I couldn’t deduce that he was really seeking a friends with benefits situation. Well he should have asked me because I would have saved him the hassle of coming up with compliments to mask his intentions with a single word ‘NO’.
Welcome to my world; where the ‘friend’ title doesn’t have a following connective nor preceding adjective. I’m very straight forward so just for an example should I have a one night stand that guy would be referred to as that or by his name. Sorry I just don’t have sexual relations with my friends.
- MR Self. Again quite self explanatory; all his thoughts seemingly revolve round him. Not to the extent of full blown narcissism but I could tell that he quite enjoyed the sound of his own voice. Okay let’s get into it. A few days after meeting the meal obsessed guy, I got bored and started talking to this guy who seemed okay. He mentioned that he checked my social media account so I returned the favour. I wasn’t too enthused when I saw that he used to play football professionally. Not to generalise but I was more cautious having dated another with similar “work” history before him. The potential for arrogance and other pompous irritations lay in wait but I thought no don’t do that take him as he is. He was someone else.
Unfortunately, I discovered that my initial concerns were right and he was looking for a wife. Okay great… no actually it wasn’t he was looking for the stereotypical timid trophy, which I’m just not. No I can’t read minds but I felt after multiple indications I could infer. He always had to be right and our conversations had to involve at least a half hour of him talking about himself with of course me listening. Yes he would check that I had heard every word by asking me “What do you think?” I would then have the dilemma of being harsh telling him exactly what I was thinking or being considerate.
Luckily the friends I used to have, had prepared me for conversations like that and I took the steps to teach him how to adapt to me: I cut him off to talk about another topic, I told him what he was doing (‘You’ve been talking for ages now can I say something?’), make my excuses and end the call or make that the last call I accepted for a few days. Then he would call me or text me that I was being immature by ignoring him but I knew I wasn’t I was teaching him to understand the difference between a conversation and speaking to himself.
I remember that it was something silly in the morning. I still hadn’t slept and would probably be late for work too. I blocked him on social media and messaging apps but sadly forgot to block his actual number. He called me later that evening and apologised and you know what I forgave him because I’m hardly perfect. Turns out he’s a terrible date but a brilliant friend. Sometimes we only need a second chance.
All the best.