I’m referring to the layperson habit of regularly applying the finest acting skills to appear like they agree with something or someone that they really don’t. Reasoning for the former behaviour includes the relationships that are often hidden from others: capitalism and their self-esteem, habit and the blissfully ignorant bystander or maybe power-seeking and disregard for others.
To be any different to those internally struggling with the prior examples would only equate to you firmly sticking out. You become a sudden flicker of vivid colour in the dull landscape of appropriateness that is the status quo or even perhaps the vision of rebellion against those pesky situational “norms”.
I’m sure most can relate to the context of communicating a completely different perspective of: colleagues, clients or even relatives, once they have the comfort of a private conversation or return home.
Well I have to admit I fixed the former overcompensation and now I’m the other extreme. I just can’t give face, this is my biggest “social flaw”. It probably also explains why I’m not on the Forbes list right now. I’m sorry to others who just don’t understand me but please know that it’s not often a conscious decision. I just can’t for the depth of my gut and soul, muscles in my face nor movement of my tongue and my fingers as I write this… schmooze anyone. My conscience becomes riddled with regret and worry if I misrepresent myself by sharing points or thoughts I don’t agree with to save others from feeling alone or “different”.
It has been suggested by my elders that as some people age, they become less tolerant and I would have to agree that this is very me. Luckily not a whiner but firm in my perspective until shown a compromise. Now in the time of “who you know” (where networking is given priority), instead of academic attainment I know that I have socially pulled the shortest stick of the bunch. Well the funniest discovery for me is that I’m okay with this knowledge. I have no room anything else. If I’m honest I was just tired of the internal bubble and corresponding moods that I experienced after giving face for so many years as a teen. Take me or leave me, I will remain internally at peace and if you feel no one else will give you the truth just ask me, maybe I can help. All the best.