(Lip pic from sahrzad.net)
Zip It Challenge
I typically share fiction nowadays but I thought it might be fun to share a new personal challenge. It’s one thing to offer advice but it’s another to actually use it so I will work towards the change I want to see in myself. I want to as they say “be about it” and well, I agree if I’m going to tell everyone that they can become whatever they want then surely I should challenge myself to be more proactive and mindful…
Reading self help books?…NO, been there done that.
Exercising more?…NO, again I kind of do a sustainable amount already. 🤣
Changing my diet? Umm, yeah how about… NO!
I will be focusing on my communication specifically the content of my conversations. In short I have officially banned myself from complaining.
Yep, you’ve heard me correctly. As much as I would love to reference some current political and social issues as a reason why a good old moan sometimes takes over, I will be retraining my brain to deal with everyday stressors as a task to immediately resolve. I hope to eventually become largely unmoved by the nonsense of everyday events. This does not by any means suggest that I will be emotionally unaffected by events but that by the month mark of zipping it I want to be less susceptive to heightening negative experiences and simultaneously more aware of positive aspects in my surroundings.
Why am I doing this?
Well because before most changes in life there is always that moment of awareness and clarity. Then it is left up to the person to decide whether they will tolerate and continue or rewrite the script. In my case I became very sensitive to the toxic ramblings of a colleague. This guy was always complaining and bemoaning something. It’s easy to say “ignore” but when there is not one day where you can avoid this person, dissuade or interject in a way that cuts him off it gets slightly complicated. What I really wanted to say was…
However, after a second thought…or maybe the third I realised that the real issue wasn’t so much the obvious habit of the guy (that constantly wanted me to listen to:
- The many ways in which this world was so unfair to him.
- The numerous reasons why our colleague should not have been promoted before him and the obvious reason why our colleague was promoted.
- Whether I wanted his job and was I sure that I didn’t want it. Then of course I could have his job because he would be leaving soon. Two months later he’s hasn’t left.
….sigh it’s sad because on the rare occasions when he’s not making those comments he’s good company. 🤦🏾♀️
No, as trying as it was to work so closely with this guy it was the day that I found myself complaining to a relative that provided the catalyst for change. Nearing the end of a conversation about something trivial that wouldn’t mark the end of the world, I suddenly heard my work colleague leave my lips. Upon realising that I was unnecessarily ranting just like the guy at work I laughed (seemingly hysterically I presume), as my family looked at me quizzically and queried if I was okay. I informed them that I was just fine and elaborated on what I found so amusing.
Anyway after this quite recent epiphany, I vowed to stop complaining and I’m on………
day three of this personal #zipitchallenge.
Interactions slightly changed on my end as I went much of the day only talking about everyday experiences or new interests. When asked about harder incidents I would share up to the point where I felt myself annoyed. At which point I would acknowledge the annoyance related emotions but not rant. This day I was more centred on what I was doing and saying, quite a new experience for me typically I prefer to listen to others.
I’m beginning to hear when others are about to let their emotions get the better of them and was able to get a friend to acknowledge this. I also slipped up in that conversation and took on their upset (the reason was awful) but hey no excuses it’s a process and I was committed to doing better the next day.
I woke up earlier without feeling exhausted. I’m starting to look at unfavourable experiences like an avid gamer, more focused on establishing resolution and alternatives to get by. I have been more productive today already.
Not a quick overhaul but then I can’t knock this challenge just yet because three days in and I’m already benefitting in small but remarkable ways. Especially, when you consider that this process has cost me nothing.
I hopefully my loved ones will offer some input on whether they have noticed anything different at a later date. I won’t tell them about the challenge to keep it authentic. I endeavour to keep a diary and come back to share more days on this blog so watch this space…
Copyright Teherah Wheeler (©) 2017
If you know someone who might not want to admit it but might need a quiet prompt please share this. I didn’t have this awful habit before I took the job so I’ll leave the complaining to reality shows.
What you do in life is your choice…I chose change. Happy midweek!!!
All the best